No no no no, this isn't about the right or left cheek. This is about approaching life in terms of a funny little thing called achievement. Instinctively, I am a slacker. I never like to put any more effort into something than it requires.
But is this because I can actually get away with it?
It's true, some people overachieve because they fear UNDERachieving. They could never slide by like those of us with more coniving natures. We are the standard setters, the ones who improve the middleground, raise the bars of mediocrity. We exert minimal effort, yet somehow establish ourselves as the smart ones. We do it because we can. But this isn't about intelligence. We're no more intelligent than anyone else. Call it a charisma, if you will. Or call it how I see it right now. Call it "lucky." Because truthfully, it feels GREAT to know that I can get away with murder. I have somehow taken some of the most necessary steps to put myself above the bar. The most terrible efforts put forth by Your Humble Narrator are always worth twice their weight in gold.
And still, I don't ACTUALLY know why this is.
I never did anything. I know that. I like to blame my older brother. He set me up with all the goods and makings of a fantastic little sister. It was fated that I should follow in the footsteps of one so smart as him. I walk the trodden path like any loyal little sibling. I bask in the glory that was set forth in years past. Even out of the traditional shared settings where the path is clear and the comparison easily made, I've become so robotic in my playing of this role that I can keep the good-act alive in a swamp of new faces. Call it lucky, if you will. Or call it how I see it right now. Call it "convenient." And yet, I don't exploit any of my abilities NEARLY as much as I suppose I could.
Or do I?
Am I all out there? How much of me is can be seen? How much of me do you know? I would guess very little. What are my abilities and how do I use them? I wouldn't begin to guess at all. I don't think I know what's ahead. I just know that for the time being, I can get by on nothing. This getting by, this getting away, making it through... it's never been clear to me in any way how it comes to pass. Call it convenient, if you will. Or just go ahead and call it how I fucking see it right now.
Call it "undeserved."